May 31, 2016

Hello all!  Yesterday like most Americans, my family and I celebrated Memorial Day.  My family and I enjoyed the holiday with time together and food that matched the typical American Memorial Day food (burgers, salads, and chips of course).  It was delicious and very enjoyable!  I would not change a thing aside from getting seconds of my vegan macaroni salad and the chips altogether, but I knew I would feel that way ahead of time. 

In spirit of the holiday, I distinctly decided to make a dietary choice of which I knew was not healthy or satisfying five minutes after the fact.  I went to the store, picked out the chips and macaroni salad supplies, as well as black bean burger ingredients (which I enjoyed on a lettuce wrap instead of bun-a healthy choice).  Why do I do this?  I really wanted burgers, a mayo based salad, and chips!  Don’t get me wrong…I’m not punishing or loathing myself over this!  However, holiday menus just sort of fascinate me.  Why do we associate certain foods with certain holidays?  Would the fallen hero’s care what we eat, or Jesus for that matter?  Some people would say this is unhealthy thinking on my part.  I should not question or over-analyze one day of festive food.  However, do most people keep it at the one day?  Especially on the same month when I have splurged on Birthday foods, it feels like the last couple weeks have been filled with celebrations and food to match.

Some people struggle with moderation, or not eating large every weekend, or all the time for that matter.  I have been that person.  I don’t want to be the person at a party who deprives themselves amongst people having a feast, yet I don’t want to be the person I have been in the past who is obese based on a lack of moderation and excessive festive foods.  Finding balance is hard sometimes! 

One of my most cherished aspects of childhood is the fact that I grew up with my grandparents living next door.  I visited them at least once a day and loved our time together.  I owe my first memories and understanding of Memorial Day to my Grandfather whom I watched bring flowers to the graves of people who served (and some who didn’t) every Memorial weekend.  He was faithful about doing this to a point I believed it was his diligent duty.  So of course I thought about him this weekend.  I wished I had the same qualities as him for the holiday.  I don’t get to the cemetery annually or specifically on this holiday weekend.  Additionally, to answer my question above, I do not believe the fallen hero’s or Jesus for that matter would have nearly as much emphasis on our holiday menu as compared to honoring those who have fought for our freedoms.  So no matter the dietary decisions of the weekend…I hope those who were able to do so did what really counts over the Holiday and honored the people behind it. 

On a final personal note, as for my mac salad and chips…I had a glorious run this morning and today is a new day.

So nothing really new dietary or weight wise, I am still holding at 144 pounds.  Last week I had two enjoyable and pain free runs.  Then I got derailed from a busy schedule and weekend rain.  This week I just feel off.  It occurred to me tonight that one of the reasons I feel that way is likely that I am not exercising.  Therefore- it is my intention to get out of bed for a change and walk/run tomorrow.  May the force be with me. 

I rediscovered Goddess dressing this week.  I have not had it in years but last time I had it I had decided I needed a break for a while.  Then there it was, at a dinner party in celebration of a couple family spring birthdays…mine included.  I do not know what it was but I felt the urge to indulge and it was amazing!  So today I ran to the store and bought some and enjoyed having a store bought dressing for the first time in about a year.  Yumm and oh the convenience!  Today this is what I had:

Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
Peanut butter toast with honey Coffee with soy milk (my latest favorite)	Salad w/ tomato, avocado, carrots, cucumber, olives, sesame seeds, and Goddess Dressing Whole wheat tortilla w/ hummus, shredded carrot and cucumber inside with a few drops of Sriracha.  Delish!	¼ cup brown rice ¼ cup pinto beans 1 smoothie w/ banana, canned pear with juice, blueberries, and spinach.

I should be  a good girl and run today’s diet on the tracker website and see the calorie count, but I am trying to get to bed so I can get enough sleep and exercise tomorrow.  I will take a moment to report that I had a weekend filled with baking delicious little naughty foods for a soccer team and my family.  I baked banana bread, cookies, pumpkin muffins, and made homemade waffles all within two days.  I purposely made it all un-vegan so that I stayed happy to bake and not munch or sample.  It worked out just fine and was not torturous.  Until that is a friend got an idea to bring 5 small containers of Ben & Jerry’s new vegan ice cream over and put them in my fridge (flavors such as peanut butter cookie, and fudge brownie of course).  My family sat around and enjoyed this substance I call my kryptonite while I tried to be friendly and mature to my generous friend.  They are still in my freezer.  Since I really don’t want myself or my family to have all that I will probably pawn a portion of it off on some poor unsuspecting soul…free ice cream available at my place people- no drop-ins! 

With all of that temptation around me I was fine, but when it came time to having a birthday celebration partly in honor of me, well that is when I indulged.  What can I say?  Just because I want a healthy BMI enough to fight for it every day over the last five months, does not mean I will never join in on having birthday cake.

One slice chocolate vegan cake with fruit- yes please! 

 

Well, this journey has been largely successful and I have stayed unbelievably focused and stable in matching my behavior to my intentions.  However, yesterday I was just off.  I had a headache in the afternoon…I was picturing myself baking some homemade cookies (for the kids of course) and I was asking myself if I was going to be successful in shedding the last ten pounds and declare myself a healthy weight.  So as far as food that I ate that I actually did not need to eat, I ended up having a tablespoon of peanut butter, a banana, and two “ants on the log” (celery, peanut butter and raisins in case you forgot from childhood). 

Today, I feel through it!  Good golly a person’s mind is the most important part of this whole mission to maintain dietary health, I tell ya!  I am over it.  I made homemade waffles for the kids this morning and stuck to my smoothie, without feeling left out or struggling, I am not feeling like being a suzy home maker in the kitchen and eating my weight in cookies and ultimately I am ready to do the work again.

I am currently going back and forth between 144 and 145.  It will take some work and dedication, but I am set to take down these last ten pounds and post my success picture.  One thing I know I need to do better is track my calories on supertracker.gov and avoid over eating.  Wish me luck, people- I just may need it these next couple months!

Hello all!  I wanted to share something- a friend reached out to me and let me know they were so inspired by reading this blog of mine, that they were considering creating one for themselves for their own journey to dietary health.  I was very thrilled to hear this!  I consider that a huge success for this blog.  Aside from holding myself accountable, this blog was created to document my journey and also inspire others.  So, I can definitely say that this blog is holding me accountable and inspiring others.  I do need to be better about documenting what I am doing.  I was better about that in the beginning.  I tracked and reported daily diets, took pictures of myself, my food, and shared my results.  Then I felt like it was always the same thing over and over again because I am a creature of habit and I rarely switch it up too much.  So perhaps I can up my game on how I get through these last ten pounds, and from there how I maintain my new healthy BMI.

As for today’s current status…I gained a pound back.  I was 145 flat this morning.  I am not terribly concerned.  I can say with confidence as I have several times throughout this process- it will come back off.  Also, the cause is pretty clear to me (which is good news, so that I can adjust some choices).  I have been having guacamole quite a bit this week.  Guacamole is a great nutrient!  The problem lies in how much I love it!  I usually over-eat when I have it.  So there it is again…big dinners get me every time!!! No matter though!  My body has adjusted very well and I am excited for what the next ten pounds gone do for my health and happiness!

Lastly, I want to share a very small success but huge in the recovery story of my hip.  I ran twice this week.  I did a nice walking warm up each time and then kept it slow and comfortable.  Both runs have left me feeling good and with no escalated hip-oriented issues afterwards.  I am considering seeing a physical therapist also, as I do not want to miss out on the summer running season!

 Here’s wishing you all the best- be well!

May 3, 2016

I am not blogging as often as I did when I began this journey towards BMI health.  However, I am really happy to say that I am still as motivated and focused on maintaining permanent change in my dietary choices as ever.  I am down to 144 pounds now, which is 22 pounds lost, which seems crazy because most of the time throughout these last five months my recollection tells me I was plateau-ing most the time.  It has been slow, but apparently steady!  Only ten more to go to be in my healthy zone; I am so excited!

I am still averaging about a thousand calories per day and even went on a light run for about a mile or more this morning.  I am doing better at avoiding seconds or larger portions at dinner time lately.  That is what I attribute that last five-seven pounds lost to and what I think the key to my ultimate success is.  It makes sense because overall, that has always been my biggest problem.  I make good dinners…and I will eat until I am stuffed unless I make an intentional effort not to. 

I really feel like everyone who does not eat perfectly and does not have a model BMI has a similar knowledge of their bad decisions.  It is funny because we have a tenancy to list several reasons which incriminate why we are overweight or not accomplishing our goals with physical health.  Sometimes we take credit, sometimes we seem baffled, and sometimes we pretend not to care. 

The truth is, it takes long-term intentional behavior, that is aimed towards not just reaching a destination, but changing ourselves along the way.  Otherwise, the experience will be another failed attempt with some short term success that does not make you any closer to ending up where you want to be.  Trust me…I know these cycles all too well. 

I had two different friends tell me they would join me during my half-marathon run in the fall of ’15.  Neither friends had been running or training for this goal.  When they said it, they really wanted that to happen for themselves.  Neither of them ended up joining me or running much or at all.  I do not judge them- that was me most of my life.  I’m not exaggerating.

 I can remember being in the fourth grade, laying in my bed at night and picturing myself in the fifth grade…this was the first image I created in  my mind of an alternative me that I pined after.  I was always taller, thinner, and had extreme happiness radiating from my beautiful face which strangely looked a little different than me.  This continued on for me.  I can remember visualizing a stunning Krista in middle school…high school…adulthood…wedding day…mommy hood…being vegan…even me running through the finish line of a half-marathon.  My visual has never matched what I actually looked like during these very happy blessed days of my life- which is so sad!  It never ended until I realized that this thinking was the source of my problems.  The visual of a thinner, more beautiful version of me was destructive.  I starved myself trying to be that woman, mentally punished myself, and ultimately did not honor or care for myself with the love and care I deserved.  Insanity! 

The answer is to change our perspectives!  I thoroughly believe in the power to change!  Stop comparing yourself to others!  Let’s make an effort to look at ourselves and love what we see enough to make the best decisions for ourselves for our health and happiness.  What could be more important?  The result will hopefully be that we can be our best selves. 

There are many quotes that I love from Martin Luther King Jr.  This is one of them:

 “In a real sense all life is inter-related. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be...

This is the inter-related structure of reality.”

Since (according to MLK’s theory) I cannot be my best, until you are too, this is what my blog is about.  I am sharing my journey.  I am normalizing the fact that I carry a cooler with veggies and hummus and other quality foods with me when I travel in order to not put my health in the back seat during trips.  I do not eat food from fast food, convenience stores, etc.  I plan ahead and have the foods that I love, are affordable, and love me back.  This should be our future!  Some people laugh when they see my cooler.  That is fine- it really is.  I just find it a little sad they would not think anything of it if they saw me ordering a cheeseburger and French fries in a drive thru for myself and my family while on the road.  They would say we were traveling with kids, in a hurry, hungry, busy yada yada and this is currently the expected behavior from parents. Don’t get me wrong- we have homemade patty veggie burgers and homemade potato fries frequently in my house.  I have always loved burgers and fries, but now I have a version I can proudly serve my body, versus the buyers regret and self-loathing process that follows other versions.  Let’s stand up for ourselves and take the time and effort to be healthy.  Who is with me?