My last post consisted of my saying I had one pound to lose and some successful "after" pictures to take...then all you heard was crickets.  Why?  You know why!  October gets me everytime!  It is a bit of a struggle because my family has two birthdays this month to celebrate- and I like a good birthday cake of course.  Then there is fall comfort food.  YUMM!  Soups, breads, latte dates.  Yikes!  Sometimes I wish I could be in January when everyone's focus is to live healthy and make good choices, but instead we American's like to sign out the year with poor dietary and financial choices.

In my big attempt to stay focused on God throughout the holiday season, I was reminded to keep focused on healthy choices as well.  It always makes me happier when I do!  So today is a new day!  I am weighing in at 139 and hope to work my way back into the upper bracket of "normal" categorical weight.  So for lunch I almost had a burrito when I remembered I could take that burrito filling (lentils, quinoa, and taco seasonings) and put it over a bed of lettuce.  Brilliant!  Why didn't I think of that before?!  It saves my about 120 calories, and I can say I had a salad for lunch instead of a burrito. Here is is:

Lunch today: lettuce, lentil & quinoa taco filling, olives, and homemade salsa.  Don't forget the water!

Honestly this whole refreshed attempt was inspired by discovery an oldy NOT goody picture of myself when I weighed much more, but I cannot even be sure because I tried not to weigh myself regurlary or at all.  I knew it was bad news.
Luckily, I am not stuck in the past, and even though I do love naughty varieties of fall foods, I also love the fact that I can get local fresh apples, pears, and squash.  So here is to a new chapter in this coming up on year long quest for a healthy BMI status.  If you are feeling like a lost cause in holiday diet blunders, just keep your eyes on the prize...and fruit basket!

 May each of your fruit baskets at home resemble this.  Don't be afraid to snack and enjoy these fall foods.  Go ahead and indulge!

Today is a pretty exciting day, as I am only one pound from my goal (I'm at 137), and technically if you add my half inch of height I usually exclude, I do have a BMI within the normal range.  I have worked so hard this year and I have been thinking about what I would say if I was to describe the secret to my success.
Overall, my success in weight loss has come down to reducing calories.  For others, maybe changing some choices (candy bars, chips, soda, or other junk food) would be a crucial change.  In terms of bad choices outside of portion, I have changed my policy on keeping ice cream in the house.  If ice cream is in my freezer, it tempts me and gets me all off track.  I love it, and I will eat it sometimes on a special occassion, but it will not be a staple in my house anymore.
This week I plan on making good choices dietarily and losing the last and final pound of this mission. As for this blog?  Well, I am going to take some "after" pics and post them.  From there on out I plan on making occassional posts about healthy meals I prepare or come accross just to keep myself and anyone else on track for a healthy BMI.
Ultimately my plan is of course to keep the weight off!  The whole reason I became inspired to obtain a healthy BMI was to take better care of my health and happiness.  If I am not doing that then I cannot expect much in return.  God has blessed me with good health, and I intend to honor it with good choices.  It can be hard to do because this world is filled with social norms that contradict healthy behavior.  Also, we each have individual needs that vary from one another.  Some people can eat freely without biological consequences.  Others do not have that luxary (like me).  I urge you not to let your individual differences become an excuse to be unhealthy.
Whoever you are, a person with a naturally fast metabolism, a person with obesity, a person managing health conditions, I hope you can love and honor your body.  Before I began this journey last year, I started to appreciate my body and realize I was holding myself back from my own greatest potential of good health and happiness.  That is insane, actually because I am quite passionate about healthy lifestyle habits.  I am guessing that I was not alone in doing this.  I hope my blog has opened some eyes to the fact that the greatest success is going to come from love and not negative feelings.  Do not talk about your body being doomed.  Recognize your actions, and take care enough to change them if need be.  Ultimately I wish each of you the best on your own journey.  

So it is a happy happy weekend post!  This weekend I was happy to honor a friend's request for German Chocolate cake for his Birthday.  I am always happy to bake!  I am happy to be in a kitchen creating my miracles.  Then I'm not always happy afterwards because I eat too much of my homemade goodness.
This weekend was different then the usual.  Saturday I went out to a sushi restaurant and since I was very hungry I went ahead and ordered an appetizer in addition to my avocado california rolls.  I topped off the evening by heading home for the German chocolate cake.  So I did not expect any progress on the scale today.  Much to my pleasant surprise, I was down to 138 pounds.  Only two pounds away from my minimum goal!
I also had an amazing run Friday evening.  About 4.25 miles of sheer happiness.  I came home feeling so rejuvenated and happy, it was amazing.  There is amazing feeling associated with taking care of your body, and I am feeling it!  Don't forget that working towards your goal is not worth missing out on special occassions and yes, cake with friends and family.

 Yes, vegans make darn good cake.  This German chocolate was delish, and the best part was sharing it with others after I enjoyed a slice.

 I highly enjoyed today's dinner: salad of spring mix with cucumber and toms and savory tomato soup made from roasted toms out of my garden.  Yumm!  Don't forget the full glass of water and that is one measured cup of soup.  

Fall is upon us.  I am sure I am not the only one to feel a slight bit of defeat in the dietary department.  Something about fall!  Homemade applesauce on my stove...soups...and there is my beloved bread and desserts that seem to taste better this time of year also.  Oh man!  My original plan to lose thirty pounds this year had me set to succeed by June.  I had no idea I would still be plugging along towards my goal in Fall, when I still have to obtain my objective, not just maintain.  What a deal!
Sunday I woke up pleased to see I weighed 139.  That's all I wanted, was to focus on losing one pound and I did it.  But of course I woke up Monday and today weighing 140.  I have to get re-focused on eating sensibly.  Today took me down an old familiar road, called I love to prepare food and eat it.  My stomping grounds!  I have no idea how many calories I had, and I know that while I didn't do anything dietarily BAD to my body today...I can also tell you I did not get any closer to my short term goal of losing one pound and getting in the thirties, where a healthy BMI awaits me.
I made applesauce and ate my weight in apples lightly sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar, took all the ripe toms out of my garden, roasted them in my oven, and made a delish tomato soup inspired by this web page: http://blissfulbasil.com/2014/01/08/dreamy-vegan-tomato-soup/ and basically snacked all day on celery and peanut butter or cauliflower and hummus.
Here is where the blessing was: I turned on my laptop to find inpiration for tomato soup and I saw my bookmarks included a link for this totally amazing tofu-free vegan pumpkin pie I found last year.  My kriptonite!  So of course I clicked on it and thank goodness the link to that webpage was unavailable. Blessings like this come to us.  I for one plan on taking the hint!  Hold off on the pie and do enjoy the applesauce or soups, but don't snack all day!

 Maybe my all time favorite fall food: homemade applesauce!

Today!  It finally happened today.  Last Sunday I indulged in a beautiful spread of food and watched Seahawks win.  It took all week to lose the two pounds I gained from my game day diet, and finally I am back down to 140.  Back down to one more pound to go until I'm in the 30's.  I can't wait to say goodbye to the 140's!
  I learned years ago from some class I took how important it is to focus on short term goals, in order to ultimately achieve an long-term goal.  I can't get all focused about the fact that I have lost 26 pounds this year and I'm trying to lose 4-6 more.  It feels tiring!  I feel like I am at the end of a long, challenging run and I'm tempted to start walking and congratulate myself for what I have accomplished so far.  I am tempted to quit and give myself an excuse.
I can't do that!  I have to ignore the big picture.  I am looking at one pound right now.  It is crucial that I just think about losing this one pound this week.  Even though the Seahawks play tomorrow. Even though I have already came so far and a friend of mine said I look great and don't even need to lose anymore weight.  I have to block all that out, and lose this one pound this week.  Short term goals are the key to a healthy BMI!
Good luck to all my fellow sports and food fans out there this weekend!

Yesterday, I was in a total funk.  I had perspective lingering on my self-willing mind, but I felt very blah.  I of course was not thrilled about my two pound meal from Sunday, but it went beyond that.  Yesterday was my “walking” day.  I alternate running and walking days.  As I was on the smallest walk ever, I was not well.  I kept having a stabbing pain in my back/hip area, telling me that maybe my body is not recovering from the over-usage injury from last year I incurred.  I mulled around the house all day envisioning myself staying in bed the following morning instead of running.  I had a slight headache.  It was just an over-all BLAH feeling while I was trying to maintain perspective.

So last night, I told my husband how I felt and how I didn’t want to run in the morning.  He told me- “that is exactly why you need to get right out of bed in the morning and run.  Don’t even think about it.”  It seemed like good advice…like Nike says- “Just Do It.”  So I decided to listen and thank goodness I did.  I had a great run!  I felt great and strong throughout the 2.3 jaunt.  I had wished I went on a longer run when I was done.  No pain, no negative feelings…just the usual greatness feeling that I get after running.

It is well known that our minds trick us when it comes to food or exercise and I feel like that is what was happening yesterday.  My body got excited about the Sunday food fest and urged me to keep going in that direction because that is what it is wired to do.  Store fat and keep it!  I was definitely feeling chemically reinforced for food and laziness.  Even that pain I had while walking yesterday, seems completely phantom today.  I even spent some time doing calisthenics on that area after my run today and it all felt great!  What’s more is the fact that I already lost one of those two pounds I had gained.  With the mind set I have today, I would not be surprised if I lost my other pound today and can re-embrace my 140 pounds stat tomorrow. 

So yes!  Even when you feel BLAH or your body is telling you to give up, do not listen!  Yes, listening to your body is a good practice, but just like parenting your child, sometimes we have to know and do what is best for us even when it is hard to do.

Well Sunday was an exciting day in our household.  We enjoyed watching our favorite NFL team (the Seattle Seahawks) win, and had good company and food to help us enjoy the afternoon and game.  What a great day!
On the flip side, I kind of got excited about the food.  As my kids would say...I was starving!  Although everyone within an eye shot can easily tell you I am nowhere near that.  I also like to point out to my children that people in this world actually face hunger and it is a serious issue!  Imagine all the people in this world that do not get an oppertunity for enough food on a daily basis.  Now imagine all the people that have and consume too much.  The food situation in this world seems slightly insane from a bird's eye perspective.  Couldn't we take food away from obese people and give it to people who are actually starving and do everyone a favor?!
Now that I have solved world hunger, I will go back to my personal issues.  Portion control gets me almost every time!  I almost always eat foods that are widely accepted as "healthy".  Sunday afternoon I threw portion or sensibility to the side and so I gained two pounds.  I have done this many many times, throughout this process this year.  I just have to do the work.  Be consistant with smaller portions, and no late evening eating.
So here is my take home message from this weekend: you can enjoy a Sunday afternoon football game without the weight gain!  Enjoy your game.  Enjoy good food.  Don't forget who is actually starving in this world.  If that does not include you- count your blessings and do not over indulge!

Today is a good day!  I am happy to announce that my BMI is down to 25.6.  I am down to 140 pounds and this inspires me so much because the next stop is in the “130’s”.  A healthy BMI for my height can be obtained at 136 pounds.  That is only four pounds away!  This is quite thrilling, I cannot quite articulate it, but let me try.

  I have not weighed in the 130’s since I was sixteen and I had some major self-image issues which culminated into a phase of anorexic tenancies.  I starved myself- I abused my body and sadly swallowed diet pills by the handfuls.  I did not respect my body or health at all.  It is really sad, but the truth is my story can be echoed by most women who were once teenagers. 

This is the first time, I have nourished my body and maintained happiness throughout weight loss.  What else should there be?!  I deserve to be healthy and happy.  I deserve to not sabotage myself and then be disappointed with my actions.  Am I going to do that though ever again??? YES…absolutely!  I can guarantee I am going to eat something and then be either disappointed with my portion or timing because it was not the healthy choice. 

The key to my success has been consistency!  I have been to birthday parties and of course had cake.  I  went camping and indulged for a week!  Overall, though I continue to eat the right foods, watch my portions, and exercise.  I walk to the dinner table with a ½ cup measuring cup for my rice because rice can almost always get me every time.   I am getting better about just dishing up a sensible portion without the measuring cup, which is ideal.  I don’t need to get too technical- that is not healthy either. 

On another note, this morning my husband and I were talking and he told me his weight.  My guy is big.  Think offensive lineman through college big.  It gives me peace to know my man outweighs me by a significant amount J.  The point is, this morning he told me what his weight is and I have weighed more than that…years ago…more than a decade ago before my husband and I met.  I weighed 217 pounds.  I went through a really hard time in my life and what can I say?  I was in survival mode.  I remember the pride I received when I got below 200.  It was a thrill to me; like getting my life back after being out of control.

Even though being in survival mode, having real life situational stressors, not taking care of myself, all seems like a life time ago, I value this reflection of mine.  I can see this journey with my weight has been quite a ride and basically an overall status of health and happiness in every facet of my life.  I find it is no coincidence that I am at a peak of spiritual, physical, and mental health in my adult life.  Our bodies and minds are interconnected and each of us should be striving to do our best in each department in order to obtain our best possible overall health condition.  I hope each of you find encouragement, inspiration, or at least enjoy reading about my journey, as I’m sure many can relate to.  Best of health to each of you!

At the beginning of this past week, I declared it to be "my week".  What can I say, I know my body was ready and I knew I was ready to do the work.  I tried to post my diet everyday, and did most days this week in case you missed it (photos included).
In addition to my dietary success, my workouts are going well also.  I was able to keep up with my alternating days schedule of walk one day, run the next.  I am in no real pain so far for at least two maybe three weeks in a row.  I am hopeful and gaining confidence that my hip and lower back may be finally recovering.  This thrills me to no end.  I love being active!  Being able to get up and greet the morning light and crisp air with some cardio gives me sheer joy.  I am completely thankful the the gift of ability!
I lost three pounds this week.  I started out at 144 and went down to 141 as of today.  That makes a 25 pound weight loss.  It is really exciting to have progress after much effort, so I am going to jump the gun on one aspect of my plans.  I planned on not posting anymore pics of my success until I was to my goal.  That way I have a beginning middle and end to this journey.  However, I just could not wait.  I'm too excited.  So here are my "almost there" pics:

This is me with only seven pounds more to lose.  Seven pounds away from a healthy BMI!  YAY!

 This was my "before" pic at the beginning of this journey.  In this pic, I am 166 pounds, and in the "obese" category.  Twenty-five pounds ago!!!

For the first time in months...I am on new ground!  I'm down to 143 now and less than ten pounds away from my goal of a healthy BMI.  It feels pretty good to just move forward one pound since I have been stagnant for so long.
Today I went out of town for an appointment and some shopping.  Since it was my child's appointment, we let my child choose where we ate lunch.  In short, I ate at Red Robin today.  Here was my day dietarily speaking.  I totalled 857 for the day which is right where I wanted to be.
Breakfast was a full piece of toast topped with peanut butter and a half banana (293 calories):

A snack was needed today, so we hit my favorite options ever to be derived from a vending machine, wasabi soy edamame with a Lemonata San Pellegrino- yum (about 280 calories):

The grand finale of my Red Robin boca burger with toms, pickles, ketchup, in a lettuce wrap with a side of broccoli (about 284 calories- not so bad for RR):

 My only complaint is that today's travel schedule kept me from running on a "run" day.  That is what tomorrow is for though.  In life and health, a person has to be flexible.  I wouldn't dream of guilting myself over a missed run.  That would take away from the re-kindled love I have with running at the moment!  I am working on my third week in a row of light running with no pain in my hip.  This progress is awesome!

So this was the decision I made...

 Sorry I had one bite of the pizza before I remembered to take a pic.  Who can wait for that first bite?! Not me I guess!

And I had a second piece of pizza and some more veggies, which culminated into about 1,370 calories for the day. This pizza of course has no cheese, just sauce and veggies.  It was very good.  I ended up getting invited to a pizza party, so I went over on the calorie count today.  That is just fine.  It certainly beats sitting with an empty plate at a celebration.  Besides, I did not eat anything unhealthy.  Tomorrow is a new day.

Today is weigh in Wednesday, and after having about 650 calories yesterday, I was thinking I would wake up a pound lighter and break 144 once and for all.  Nope-144.2!  This body is built to last!  I am sure that the reason I have some Irish decent is because my ancestors had what it took to survive the potato famine!
Please do not get me wrong...I love this body of mine.  I thank God for it and its good health status.  I intend on spending the rest of my days honoring it, so that when my "time" comes, my obituary will not read "Death by Cheeseburger!"
So, today I have a bit of decision making for my calorie count.  It turns out that I already at 850 calories today, and it has all been fairly healthy foods.  Granola is always a calorie punch in disguise (too much oil and sugar). I have to decide what to have for dinner if much at all.
However, here is what 850 calories bought me today:

 One peach and half a banana...

 I added a half cup granola and half cup soy milk...double yum. Was it worth 408 calories though?! Probobly not!

 An absolutely perfect lunch with my Aunt who taught me everything I know about eating healthy fresh foods regularly.  Here is my salad, fruit, and a heel of my homemade bread.  So much good stuff here!  450 calories

It is Tuesday, of what I have described as “my week”!  Today I wanted to make sure I made an attempt to get protein, yet go low on caloric intake.  After all, I am trying to break a new barrier.  I have not weighed less than 144 since April or May.  I have to be more determined than my metabolism, yet still take good care of myself.  So this is what I did... 

Breakfast: 

 I snagged a slice of my child's peanut butter toast.  The bread is Dave's Killer Bread "The Good Seed", which is a good source of protein when it comes to bread.

 I dusted off my protein powder from the cabinet and had a protein shake of commercial design for a change (and also for an impacting 20 grams of protein).

Lunch: 1 ½ apples (not pictured)

Dinner: 

 This was my dinner.  A half cup of rice with teriyaki stir fry veggies, mixed with pineapple, chick peas, and topped with sunflower seeds.  Yumm!

The total count for today’s calories are low…about 650.  That seems extreme in a snapshot, but when I think about all the food I had today and the fact that I was only hungry before dinner time, and after dinner I was full and satisfied, then I think this was fine.  I know that I did not jeopardize my health or compromise any kind of self-respect code.  I would not do that in order to obtain a healthy BMI.  I am however ready to do the work, finally!

Today, I had an apple for breakfast, salad and veggies for lunch, and a half cup rice with roasted brussel sprouts and steamed carrots over it.  Also, I used Sriracha and soy sauce...a magical combination! Today's total calorie count was about 851.  As reflected in the chart below, the only real complaint I have is the lack of protein for today so I may focus on that tomorrow.  

Delicious, healthy and most importantly a moderate portion.

Happy Monday!  I know it’s only Monday, but this I am really excited about this week.  One thing that has me feeling so optimistic, is my hip and lower back.  They are doing pretty well, and I have been going every other day walk, and run for a couple weeks now with minimal pain or discomfort.  That is a huge improvement! 

I am seeing a chiropractor and it seems to be helping!   Once a week the chiropractor is taking a device which resembles a power tool, and going over the tight muscles.  I am feeling so good and I am hopeful the hip saga is nearing an end.  I do not like to be held back from being active and I cannot wait to participate in 5 mile Friday again.  Good stuff!

Today after my run, I enjoyed an apple for breakfast and a couple peach slices.  For lunch, I enjoyed a plate full of veggies, salad, and hummus (pictured below).  Yumm!  And no buyers regret afterwards!   

 My lunch: a delightful blend of celery, carrots, and cucumber with hummus and a salad with hummus, Goddess dressing, topped with sunflower seeds, and a side of pickles just because!

It has been a long week!  In the dietary world, I have gone and come back in a full cycle with my weight this week.  Usually, it takes a while for my weight to be impacted, and it really has not done much since early spring.  Yet this week proved wrong everything I thought I understood about my body mass and metabolism system.

At the beginning of it all, I was still working on a come-back from “Vacation diet blunder”.  I had gained three pounds (up from 144)  from a vacation which did not mirror my desire for dietary and body mass health.  I had lost one of those pounds already…a good start.  Then last Monday for no apparent reason I gained two pounds (148)…I couldn’t  believe it!  So I ate what I considered sensible and exercised and weighed myself Wednesday all to receive another complete shock of 149.  I have not weighed 149 for a long time (since before spring break). 

It was completely frustrating!  I thought to myself…I have to do something fast or I am going to say goodbye to my goals and the 140’s.  Afterall I went from being 10 pounds from my goal to 15 all in a half week. 

So, the next day (Thursday) I ate as usual, except I just skipped dinner.  I figured, it would not kill me and I am a well-nourished person.  Friday, I ate a delightful fruit salad after my morning run, then enjoyed an early dinner of veggie fajitas at my favorite local Mexican Dining.  Delish! Saturday I was already back down to 145 and today I sealed the goodbye letter to “vacation diet blunder” and am finally at my 144 weight that I was Pre-vacation.   

What a whirlwind of weights this week!  I did not think my body was capable of such quick changes, but I have to tell you I am seriously renewed in my inspiration.  To be able to say again that I only have ten more pounds to lose in order to be/have:

 a) a healthy BMI

 b) reach my goal of a thirty pound weight drop

 c) successful at achieving a better health… (with added cuteness)

So friends, I am going to try very hard to duplicate my success this coming week by only having two meals daily and making sure not to eat after 4 pm.  If I am starved in the evening to the point of complete discomfort in the evening I will eat fruit.  Other than that, I think that is what my body needs in order to obtain healthy weight loss.  I will try my best to post my meals this week so you all can see I am not starving myself… but not over-eating either.  This is my week- I can feel it!

August 8, 2016

Yesterday I went to my family reunion picnic.  It was great to see family, catch up and spend the afternoon together as always!  Give me a day with good food and good people, and I am one happy lady! 

One surprise I received was the amount of positive feedback I received about how I look.  Most everybody told me how great I look when they greeted me.  What a nice surprise that was! 

Over the last (almost decade) I have been with my husband, and I have worked on my BMI at different times.  Usually, I work really hard, my husband works a little, and he gets all the praise.  It has been years of people seeing us and people saying “wow- you look great- what are you doing?” as he looks at me with knowing smile about his positive effect being a side effect of my planning and execution in the dietary department.  It is just another example of my “life is not fair” understanding ESPECIALLY in the BMI department. 

Well yesterday was just the opposite.  All of my healthy choices and battle with running must be reflected because the people who have known me my whole life seem to have thought that I am really “looking good”.  I will say it again- it felt great to have that recognition and praise.

However, that is not my objective at all.  This mission has nothing to do with my vanity.  Like I was telling one of my dear Aunty’s…my perspective has changed.  I no longer attach guilt, shame or grief to my weight.  I finally view my weight for what it really is…a number which represents one aspect of my health status.  That is why I am so open to take all of you with me and broadcast this journey to anyone who is interested in what it means to be obese and lose thirty pounds in order to have a healthy BMI. 

My last couple posts have reported my battle with un-doing vacation diet blunder.  I have lost two out of three pounds gained on vacation and I feel confident I’m close to shedding the third.  I am back down to 145.  I am back into the ten pounds to go zone and I am excited. 

I have been plateaued for quite a while.  I have survived vacation and staying home with children over the summer, while maintaining my twenty pound weight loss.  This is actually pretty exciting and although, I had originally planned on being done with this journey by August…I have to say that was presumptuous of me.  I had a plan to jump down two categories (obese-to overweight- to normal).  If I can achieve that this year, I will be happy, proud, and thankful!      

Running...I would describe it as the new found love of my thirties.  It has been a great ride, which culminated in the half marathon race last fall.  It was a life goal that took so much hard work and I am proud of that.
However, it was not the best plan for me.  I trained hard just after having my fourth child because the race was six months after I gave birth.  This resulted in my hip issue.  I've been struggling with it since the training last summer.  I pushed through the pain to get the race done and figured my resting period over the winter would erase all the damage done.
Sadly, that was not what happened.  Instead, I have been going in cycles of running and feeling great, and then end up needing a break again because my hip is hurting.  So, currently I took a few weeks off until last week.  I got out there once.  No expectations...no phone tracking my distance and pace...just me and some music with a splash of the magical combination of fresh air and exercise.  It is going well this way.  I walk some...I run some.  I got out there this morning and did a walk/run and I am feeling great.
One factor may be that I saw a physical therapist and found out that my hip pain my be caused by my shorter leg effecting my stride.  I purchased a lift and some new inserts for my running shoes and found out that I need new running shoes.  Hopefully, this will be the key to helping my hip feel better. So far...so good!
In a way I am starting all over again with running.  I have to fall in love again.  I have to be proud of small distances and slow paces and let running be fun- not disappointing and painful.  Scott Jurek said (in his book Eat & Run- which is my all time favorite book about diet and exercise) that running should be carefree, like child's play (or something like that).  That is where I am at.  I just need to get out there and enjoy myself and do what I can do without expectations or old standards get in the way.  I hope running can continue to be an enjoyable and somewhat pain-free activity in my life for many years to come! Here's hoping!

August 3, 2016

Well this marks week one of getting back to my plan…I lost one pound this week.  I hope to repeat this next week!  So I am back down to 146 and that is still two pounds heavier than my pre-vacation weight.  Today I learned about watermelon.  I already knew it was delicious and when I went to the grocery store earlier this week and had a random stranger verbally attack me for taking too long in the check stand and allegedly   “making her late” it seemed like the perfect summertime comfort food.  Now I know it also has a price tag.  I shall be seeking comfort in smaller portions next time!

However, today’s diet looked like this:

Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner	Snack
1 whole wheat waffle (dry) 2 cups coffee w/ soy 285 calories	1 hummus & veggie wrap 1 slice (round) watermelon 531 calories (170 from watermelon)	1 burrito 250 calories	Home made salsa w/ 3 stalks celery 26 calories

Grand total: 1092

Starting Over…

Yes, it has happened- and I totally knew it would.  I knew at some point in this mission to obtain a healthy BMI, I would fall off track .  That is why I was obese…I struggle with my weight.  I pretty much always have.  I knew it was unlikely for me to just decide to lose the thirty pounds and do it and that is the end of the story.  No.  Life is not like that.  Humans are not like that.  Weight loss is hard to do, and so is changing lifelong habits.

Last week while I was on a vacation, (a six day traveling spree which included tent camping at the beach, an over-night stay with a close friend in Portland, and a weekend in Seattle), you would not be able to observe my so-called dietary mission.  Instead you would have seen me eating for pleasure, boredom, and even my least favorite- preventative eating.  I call it preventative eating when we are not really hungry, but we grab a meal because we may not have time to eat later.  Because we wouldn’t want to say…have a hunger pang.  It's almost as if we think to ourselves: Good Lord, I can handle anything but hunger today!   What kind of a crisis would that be?!  So we eat in effort to prevent hunger from happening…it is the most non-sense act in dietary mistakes if you ask me.  I should know- I have done all of them. 

So here I am on “weigh-in Wednesday” as I have called it.  I got up in the morning and thought about this past week.  I pictured me at the campfire eating my vegan friendly chocolate bar…my graham crackers, going out to eat and snagging some fries off my kid’s plates.  I was pretty much out of control all week and I didn’t care enough to make a change about it.  Hey…I was on vacation!  I think my goals and care about my health and happiness was on vacation as well.

I wanted to just not weigh myself.  You know that feeling when you know it is going to be bad news, so you would just rather skip it altogether?  That was me.  However, I decided to embrace this consequence and be what I promised my readers I would be…daringly honest.  I weighed and saw that I gained 3 pounds.  Three pounds!!!  I never danced a happy dance over gaining three pounds until today, people!  You have no idea how much I deserved to gain ten…or at least five. 

So here I am, at 147 pounds again.  Starting over is somewhat refreshing in a way, because I already have fallen down.  Now I get to pick myself up and try again.  That is exactly what I intend on doing.  So today, here is my diet:

Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
1 cup coffee w/soy milk banana 128 calories	1 veggie fajita 243 calories	1 bowl pinto beans w/ fresh homemade pico de gallo (salsa) 2 corn tortillas 1 whole wheat tortilla 690 calories

Today’s calories totaled 1061.  I didn’t have to have so many beans or tortillas at dinner tonight, but I can guarantee that this is an improvement and not a bad first day back on track.  Tomorrow I need to meet my minimum fruit requirement as today I was shy.  Here’s to a brand new start!  

June 28, 2016

Do you ever have a weekend of bad dietary decisions and then dread the scale in order to face the music?  That was basically me this morning!  I had made homemade pizza this weekend…four of them.  So of course we had pizza for two days for my family of six and enough to send with my husband on a business trip for an on-the-road snack.  Granted…my pizza does not include meat or cheese, it is still delicious and it is still hard to just have two slices.  Two pizza’s had just sauce, pineapple, and olives.  The other two were Mexican style with refried beans, then we added the lettuce, toms and hot sauce after they came out of the oven.  Good stuff!  It was not really a good idea for me to have or make though in terms of my plans to not overeat.  However, what am I going to do?  Not ever eat pizza again?!  No, that is not what I want or desire.  I have to try to practice moderation. 

Then there was last night…I got home with five kids in tow from a hot hour and half in the summer sun for one of my kiddos soccer practice.  All of the kids were spent!  They did not have much tolerance for anything after the sun exposure became too much. 

So what did I do?  I of course did exactly what I try not to do.  I used food to improve moral.  Remember that ice cream that a friend had graciously brought over because Ben & Jerrys makes vegan friendly ice cream now?  Well I have been bothered by it lately.  I open the freezer and there they are.  When I get my frozen berries for smoothies, I see ice cream.  I don’t want to see ice cream, because I don’t want to eat it.  Anyways…I figured that I could get two birds with two stones.  “Hey kids- stop fighting and I will let you watch a show and have ice cream when we get home!” 

Well, my children are my children, so it totally worked- they were thrilled!  I did not have a serving, but I took a few small bites as I was dishing them up.  I looked at the label- 200 calories per half cup and most of that is fat derived nutrients.  UGH!  Not worth it, to over-indulge…BUT my few tiny bites were enough to keep any deprived feeling or guilt at bay. 

Anyways, I was sure all the pizza and ice cream late in the evening could only mean one thing- weight gain.  So I bucked up and faced the music and weighed.  I am still 144 pounds!  It’s a miracle…actually it is not a miracle.  It means my body weight has stabilized and it is ready to lose weight again if I do the work consistently, not just during the week or every other day.  In fact that is probably why I have been wanting naughty foods or have been tempted to not continue my plan towards BMI health.  Our bodies have worked hard to store all our fat and our plan to reduce fat percentage and sabatage the innate, biological survival tools creates a cognitive war with food.  

So, today is a new day!  I love saying that- I feel so full of hope and inspiration when I think of it.  I ran 2.5 miles this morning.  My hip is not punishing me.  I have eaten oatmeal with a banana, soy milk, and brown sugar for breakfast.  Not too bad…not too good either.  Anyways, I am pretty sure I will have a diet I can be proud of today because I am inspired and thankful I did not gain weight.  Time to move on.  I can’t wait to say goodbye to the 140’s and hello to a healthy BMI.  For the first time since HS, by the way…life is good!

June 21, 2016

Well, if anyone has read my posts throughout this process, you surely know that I have pretty much dropped off my regular posting aspect of this journey.  That did not reflect on my personal behavior or choices…aside from the last few days that is.  Ugh…my family went out of town to stay at a cabin for Father’s Day weekend.  It was very nice!  We curled up, built a fire, (yes it was raining and storming in June) and I was starving when we arrived so I ate…and I ate…and then ate.  Well maybe not the third “ate” but it sure feels like it!

We brought veggies & hummus, salsa, chips, and supplies for tostadas (refried beans, lettuce , fresh homemade salsa, etc).  I ate too much dinner and then later I watched my family eat this store boughten cake…it was huge and loaded.  Usually this type of thing does not bother me, but for whatever reason, I really wanted a piece of that cake.  Thankfully it was not vegan friendly. 

Even though I did not have any cake, the cake indeed did its damage.  I found myself rummaging around the kitchen to look for something sweetish to compensate.  This was ridiculous.  I was still full from dinner.  The next day (Sunday) I matched that big tostada dinner… for lunch.  I was so full after lunch, I said to myself I would just have a smoothie for dinner and my calorie count would not be too high.  However, I was forgetting the fact that we were meeting family for dinner that evening. 

So this weekend was filled with my all-time favorite food (Mexican food) matched with a lack of self-control.  I went to bed Sunday feeling miserable and somehow still wanting more food.  Has anyone else ever done that?  Although I know I did not try to do anything necessary.  Our brains are wired to reinforce the behavior of eating- especially when it is yummy, naughty food (sugar, fat, and oils do the job).

Even when I woke up Monday morning, my belly felt big and I felt unhealthy; overall I would say I felt like crud.  So, what do you think I did about it?  Of course I ate my Mexican food leftovers for lunch and made the same mistake three days in a row of eating to a point of discomfort. 

There is light at the end of this tunnel.  The good news is that I have not overate for three days in a row for a really long time and guess what?  I remembered that I really do not care for it at all.  I did not like the way I felt and even my favorite food in the world can be my worst enemy when I feel like garbage from eating too much of it three days in a row.  I may be slow, but I learn! 

Today’s diet:

Breakfast- 243	Lunch- 246	Dinner- 338
1 piece of Dave’s Killer Bread w/ peanut butter and honey on it (probably the equivalent of a loaded baked potato in the world of toast)!	Half cucumber w/ hummus 1 smoothie made w/ banana, strawberries, blueberries, spinach, and organic lemonaid	1 cup rice 1 cup steamed veggies

This is about 857 calories total…this is what I need to do!   Lately, I am going slightly astray since my body seems to have settled and plateaued at 144-145 pounds.  How many times have a requested this?- Wish me luck, the last ten pounds to a healthy BMI feels like a mountain I have to climb and in cold weather...and I highly dis-like being cold!

One final note…since it has been a while…I have to say this is quite empowering!  I forgot what a great role blogging has played into my success.  I feel better, in control and with a plan.  

May 31, 2016

Hello all!  Yesterday like most Americans, my family and I celebrated Memorial Day.  My family and I enjoyed the holiday with time together and food that matched the typical American Memorial Day food (burgers, salads, and chips of course).  It was delicious and very enjoyable!  I would not change a thing aside from getting seconds of my vegan macaroni salad and the chips altogether, but I knew I would feel that way ahead of time. 

In spirit of the holiday, I distinctly decided to make a dietary choice of which I knew was not healthy or satisfying five minutes after the fact.  I went to the store, picked out the chips and macaroni salad supplies, as well as black bean burger ingredients (which I enjoyed on a lettuce wrap instead of bun-a healthy choice).  Why do I do this?  I really wanted burgers, a mayo based salad, and chips!  Don’t get me wrong…I’m not punishing or loathing myself over this!  However, holiday menus just sort of fascinate me.  Why do we associate certain foods with certain holidays?  Would the fallen hero’s care what we eat, or Jesus for that matter?  Some people would say this is unhealthy thinking on my part.  I should not question or over-analyze one day of festive food.  However, do most people keep it at the one day?  Especially on the same month when I have splurged on Birthday foods, it feels like the last couple weeks have been filled with celebrations and food to match.

Some people struggle with moderation, or not eating large every weekend, or all the time for that matter.  I have been that person.  I don’t want to be the person at a party who deprives themselves amongst people having a feast, yet I don’t want to be the person I have been in the past who is obese based on a lack of moderation and excessive festive foods.  Finding balance is hard sometimes! 

One of my most cherished aspects of childhood is the fact that I grew up with my grandparents living next door.  I visited them at least once a day and loved our time together.  I owe my first memories and understanding of Memorial Day to my Grandfather whom I watched bring flowers to the graves of people who served (and some who didn’t) every Memorial weekend.  He was faithful about doing this to a point I believed it was his diligent duty.  So of course I thought about him this weekend.  I wished I had the same qualities as him for the holiday.  I don’t get to the cemetery annually or specifically on this holiday weekend.  Additionally, to answer my question above, I do not believe the fallen hero’s or Jesus for that matter would have nearly as much emphasis on our holiday menu as compared to honoring those who have fought for our freedoms.  So no matter the dietary decisions of the weekend…I hope those who were able to do so did what really counts over the Holiday and honored the people behind it. 

On a final personal note, as for my mac salad and chips…I had a glorious run this morning and today is a new day.

So nothing really new dietary or weight wise, I am still holding at 144 pounds.  Last week I had two enjoyable and pain free runs.  Then I got derailed from a busy schedule and weekend rain.  This week I just feel off.  It occurred to me tonight that one of the reasons I feel that way is likely that I am not exercising.  Therefore- it is my intention to get out of bed for a change and walk/run tomorrow.  May the force be with me. 

I rediscovered Goddess dressing this week.  I have not had it in years but last time I had it I had decided I needed a break for a while.  Then there it was, at a dinner party in celebration of a couple family spring birthdays…mine included.  I do not know what it was but I felt the urge to indulge and it was amazing!  So today I ran to the store and bought some and enjoyed having a store bought dressing for the first time in about a year.  Yumm and oh the convenience!  Today this is what I had:

Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
Peanut butter toast with honey Coffee with soy milk (my latest favorite)	Salad w/ tomato, avocado, carrots, cucumber, olives, sesame seeds, and Goddess Dressing Whole wheat tortilla w/ hummus, shredded carrot and cucumber inside with a few drops of Sriracha.  Delish!	¼ cup brown rice ¼ cup pinto beans 1 smoothie w/ banana, canned pear with juice, blueberries, and spinach.

I should be  a good girl and run today’s diet on the tracker website and see the calorie count, but I am trying to get to bed so I can get enough sleep and exercise tomorrow.  I will take a moment to report that I had a weekend filled with baking delicious little naughty foods for a soccer team and my family.  I baked banana bread, cookies, pumpkin muffins, and made homemade waffles all within two days.  I purposely made it all un-vegan so that I stayed happy to bake and not munch or sample.  It worked out just fine and was not torturous.  Until that is a friend got an idea to bring 5 small containers of Ben & Jerry’s new vegan ice cream over and put them in my fridge (flavors such as peanut butter cookie, and fudge brownie of course).  My family sat around and enjoyed this substance I call my kryptonite while I tried to be friendly and mature to my generous friend.  They are still in my freezer.  Since I really don’t want myself or my family to have all that I will probably pawn a portion of it off on some poor unsuspecting soul…free ice cream available at my place people- no drop-ins! 

With all of that temptation around me I was fine, but when it came time to having a birthday celebration partly in honor of me, well that is when I indulged.  What can I say?  Just because I want a healthy BMI enough to fight for it every day over the last five months, does not mean I will never join in on having birthday cake.

One slice chocolate vegan cake with fruit- yes please! 

 

Well, this journey has been largely successful and I have stayed unbelievably focused and stable in matching my behavior to my intentions.  However, yesterday I was just off.  I had a headache in the afternoon…I was picturing myself baking some homemade cookies (for the kids of course) and I was asking myself if I was going to be successful in shedding the last ten pounds and declare myself a healthy weight.  So as far as food that I ate that I actually did not need to eat, I ended up having a tablespoon of peanut butter, a banana, and two “ants on the log” (celery, peanut butter and raisins in case you forgot from childhood). 

Today, I feel through it!  Good golly a person’s mind is the most important part of this whole mission to maintain dietary health, I tell ya!  I am over it.  I made homemade waffles for the kids this morning and stuck to my smoothie, without feeling left out or struggling, I am not feeling like being a suzy home maker in the kitchen and eating my weight in cookies and ultimately I am ready to do the work again.

I am currently going back and forth between 144 and 145.  It will take some work and dedication, but I am set to take down these last ten pounds and post my success picture.  One thing I know I need to do better is track my calories on supertracker.gov and avoid over eating.  Wish me luck, people- I just may need it these next couple months!