June 21, 2016

Well, if anyone has read my posts throughout this process, you surely know that I have pretty much dropped off my regular posting aspect of this journey.  That did not reflect on my personal behavior or choices…aside from the last few days that is.  Ugh…my family went out of town to stay at a cabin for Father’s Day weekend.  It was very nice!  We curled up, built a fire, (yes it was raining and storming in June) and I was starving when we arrived so I ate…and I ate…and then ate.  Well maybe not the third “ate” but it sure feels like it!

We brought veggies & hummus, salsa, chips, and supplies for tostadas (refried beans, lettuce , fresh homemade salsa, etc).  I ate too much dinner and then later I watched my family eat this store boughten cake…it was huge and loaded.  Usually this type of thing does not bother me, but for whatever reason, I really wanted a piece of that cake.  Thankfully it was not vegan friendly. 

Even though I did not have any cake, the cake indeed did its damage.  I found myself rummaging around the kitchen to look for something sweetish to compensate.  This was ridiculous.  I was still full from dinner.  The next day (Sunday) I matched that big tostada dinner… for lunch.  I was so full after lunch, I said to myself I would just have a smoothie for dinner and my calorie count would not be too high.  However, I was forgetting the fact that we were meeting family for dinner that evening. 

So this weekend was filled with my all-time favorite food (Mexican food) matched with a lack of self-control.  I went to bed Sunday feeling miserable and somehow still wanting more food.  Has anyone else ever done that?  Although I know I did not try to do anything necessary.  Our brains are wired to reinforce the behavior of eating- especially when it is yummy, naughty food (sugar, fat, and oils do the job).

Even when I woke up Monday morning, my belly felt big and I felt unhealthy; overall I would say I felt like crud.  So, what do you think I did about it?  Of course I ate my Mexican food leftovers for lunch and made the same mistake three days in a row of eating to a point of discomfort. 

There is light at the end of this tunnel.  The good news is that I have not overate for three days in a row for a really long time and guess what?  I remembered that I really do not care for it at all.  I did not like the way I felt and even my favorite food in the world can be my worst enemy when I feel like garbage from eating too much of it three days in a row.  I may be slow, but I learn! 

Today’s diet:

Breakfast- 243	Lunch- 246	Dinner- 338
1 piece of Dave’s Killer Bread w/ peanut butter and honey on it (probably the equivalent of a loaded baked potato in the world of toast)!	Half cucumber w/ hummus 1 smoothie made w/ banana, strawberries, blueberries, spinach, and organic lemonaid	1 cup rice 1 cup steamed veggies

This is about 857 calories total…this is what I need to do!   Lately, I am going slightly astray since my body seems to have settled and plateaued at 144-145 pounds.  How many times have a requested this?- Wish me luck, the last ten pounds to a healthy BMI feels like a mountain I have to climb and in cold weather...and I highly dis-like being cold!

One final note…since it has been a while…I have to say this is quite empowering!  I forgot what a great role blogging has played into my success.  I feel better, in control and with a plan.